Mary Swanson

Both a bitter and optimistic 24-year-old entry-level underachiever with 2-4 friends and 0 talents. Washed up is an understatement. I prefer almost all my food luke-warm, what does that say about me?

Member Since 01/14/2014

Getting called a “bad girl” by my IT guy for streaming Pandora. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Back off of Chris Pratt. He’s awesome.

Even More Celebrities Reading Even More Mean Tweets

5 Keys To A Successful Friendsgiving

Getting rejected by the charming but hideous IT guy. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

Getting caught liking boner-related articles on Facebook. PGP.

Post Grad Problems

The Rise Of The Bulge

30 Hilarious “Shower Thoughts” From The Internet’s Funniest Forum

How To Write A Shitty Young Adult Novel

A Drunk Man Lost His Shit During A Job Interview And Stabbed His Potential Boss, Didn’t Get The Job

The Stupidest Things My Friends Have Said In The Last Week: 11/18