I got drunk and bought the new Air Jordan golf shoes. Jesus help me. PGP.

Getting ghosted on Valentine’s weekend. PGP.

The closest you can get to psychedelic drugs is Joe Rogan’s podcast. PGP.

Saving money on car washes by parking outside during thunderstorms. PGP.

Threw my back out while lying on the couch this weekend. PGP.

Brought in donuts on my first Friday in the new office. Upside: everyone likes me. Downside: now I have no beer money for the weekend. PGP.

My work nickname has stuck and has absolutely nothing to do with me or my real name. PGP.

Waiting for the day my coworkers stop referring to me as the baby. PGP.

When your boss says he’s staying home sick today but leaves you a pile of projects to complete in his absence. PGP.

Day 2 of no internet in the office: things are on the cusp of going full ‘Lord of the Flies’ out here. PGP.