Just swiped right because I saw granite counters and stainless steel. PGP.

My 29 year-old coworker just called me “Punkin'”. PGP.

Being pleasantly surprised when you find a full Brita pitcher in your fridge. PGP.

Sometimes I stay late when I have nothing to do after work. PGP.

I fired someone today. I think I cried more than they did. PGP.

Being able to either buy the new iPhone or pay my rent early. Hello iPhone. PGP.

That audible sigh of relief when you find out that everyone’s least-favorite person isn’t coming in today. PGP.

The fuck is a Shmoney Dance? PGP.

Sometimes I make my bed for the sole purpose of feeling like I have my life together. PGP.