Asked my new job to let me start in January so I could hold out for a Christmas bonus from job I was going to leave…… we only got a bucket of popcorn. PGP.

Violently sneezed at the urinal and pissed all over myself. PGP.

Toeing the line between skinny fat and just fat. PGP.

I can’t wait to move to the burbs. PGP.