I’m an incredible interviewer but an awful employee #PGP

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

I know exactly how much I can drink on a weeknight and not be hungover at work the next day. I usually blow right past it around 9 p.m. PGP.

I can’t stand those college kids. PGP.

Your company finally hiring attractive women right after you get a girlfriend. PGP.

All of the responsibility, but none of the authority, to get the project done. PGP.

My friend just had a kid, and now he sucks. PGP

Today is my birthday, and it doesn’t matter. PGP

Learning to check the left hand when conversing with a member of the opposite sex. PGP.

Just came to the realization that I am now older than 99.9% of college athletes. PGP.