Fuck Steve. PGP.

Moved to a new town for work. The only person I talk to outside of work is my leasing agent. PGP.

This whole Ray Rice thing really makes me wonder how many times someone has seen me pick my nose while riding an elevator alone. PGP.

“I just wanted to thank you again for the opportunity…” PGP.

My roommates walked in on me masturbating this morning. I live with my parents. PGP.

I really need to take my suit to the dry cleaners, but then I wouldn’t have anything to wear to work for a few days. PGP.

One of my coworkers caught me reading an article on this website. They walked away laughing at me. PGP.

“Are you reading PGP right now?” PGP.

LeBron James is demanding a max salary. I’m too scared to ask the IT guy to fix my computer. PGP.

Can’t tell if Tinder is broken or if no women within a 10 mile radius are interested in having sex with me. PGP.