Look good, play good. Except I can no longer fit in my “look good” clothing. PGP.

Planning to do nothing for the weekend so it goes by as slowly as possible. PGP.

Shower coffee isn’t as much fun as shower beer. PGP.

Being the only single groomsman at a dry wedding. PGP.

I’m just trying daily to meet my wife on Bumble. Is that too much to ask? PGP.

When someone follows you into the bathroom then takes the stall next to yours. PGP.

Officially have more LinkedIn connections than Facebook friends. PGP.

Kevin Duranted myself in the group chat. PGP.

Living vicariously through people who put in their two weeks notice. PGP.

My 30-year-old boyfriend can’t keep up with my family’s alcohol tolerance. PGP.