Just bragged to someone about my Credit score. PGP.

Coworkers that ask “Where’d you go?” when you return from taking a shit. PGP.

New girlfriend invited me to her college reunion. Got cucked. PGP.

“This ergonomic mouse is a real game changer.” PGP.

Took a half day to relax. Got bored and logged on to work remotely. PGP.

Decided not to go out this weekend to save a bit of money. Phone stops working on Sunday and I drop 250 to fix it. PGP.

New at the company and didn’t know the lock on the end bathroom stall was “faulty.” Someone walked in on me taking a shit. There was eye contact. PGP.

Most of my job is spent working on TPS reports. PGP.

“If I had worked this hard in college I would have gotten a 4.0.” PGP.

The hardest decision to make in life this month: pay rent or buy the iPhone X? PGP.