Still waiting on that tenth grade geometry to come in handy in the real world. PGP

I bought a nice blender, and that shit has changed my life. PGP

Some college kids at a bar refereed to me “Blue” last night. PGP

My friend just had a kid, and now he sucks. PGP

I got a yellow onion at the store instead of a red one. Just to mix things up. PGP

Today is my birthday, and it doesn’t matter. PGP

Adopting a “maintain, don’t gain” diet mindset. PGP

Found out my old middle school bully works at Starbucks. I go there twice a week in a suit. PGP

I spilled Rum and Coke all over myself in public last night. PGP