Boss gone jeans on. PGP

The weekly “Let’s quit our jobs and open a bar” chat on instant messenger following the weekend.

I could really use that fantasy league money right now.

“It feels like the first time” runs through my head whenever I land an unused toilet for the morning deuce. PGP

My only motivation to get to work before anyone else is so that I get my favorite parking spot. PGP.

Dreamt I overdrafted my checking account buying Chipotle. PGP.

People trying to talk to you when you clearly have your headphones in. PGP.

The stampede that ensues after the “there’s leftovers from last night’s event in the kitchen” email. PGP.

I go to lunch as late as possible, just so the day seems shorter. PGP

Strained an ab muscle at my desk today because I stretched too hard during a yawn.