Had a mild heart attack when my boss wanted to talk to me about my “computer usage.” Turns out he just needed help with PowerPoint.

My leg fell asleep on the toilet and now I’m limping around the office.

Started my “summer diet” today and realized I have no plans to go to the beach this year.

Returning from a four-day weekend and already ready for the week to be over.

Practicing my golf swing mid-conversation.