Told my secretary I wasn’t feeling well and was going to check out early. She said “you don’t look very good.” I’m actually fine, I just wanted to run some errands.

Waiting that extra minute in the stall so you don’t have to have an awkward washing your hands conversation with a coworker.

Left my number on a receipt for the waitress at Applebee’s. Biggest rush I’ve gotten all month. PGP.

The best part of my Friday was finding out my credit score went up 5 points. PGP.

Having to retake grades K-12 to prove to my dad I’m ready to take over the family hotel chain. PGP.

I can’t wait to move to the burbs. PGP.

Didn’t talk to a single high school friend while home for vacation. PGP.

Older buddy at the bar complains about having to wait to receive what he calls a small 401K adjustment check due to CPA/tax correction; amount is twice my entire retirement savings. PGP.