I now watch games at home because bars are too loud.

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

Finally got laid by using eharmonys free trial weekend. PGP.

I’m hungover and sunburnt. PGP.

“I’m sorry, but the person you called has a voice mailbox that has not been setup yet. Goodbye.”

I need coffee to poop in the morning now PGP

I can’t even afford to casually date. PGP.

One too many glasses of pinot while watching the bachelorette and I now have a 6-month membership to match.com. #PGP

Helping people find their dream job was not my dream. #PGP