The insanely difficult 5:30 decision between hitting the gym or bottle. PGP.

Going back to your desk to get your cell phone before heading to the bathroom. PGP.

Having to choose between 20 minutes more sleep or rubbing one out before work. PGP.

Too old to have roommates. Too poor to live alone. PGP.

Going to the bathroom out of sheer boredom. PGP.

Yesterday was my boss’s birthday and we ate at a Brazilian steakhouse on the company card. Today was my birthday and I ate a Wendy’s baconator alone in my car. PGP.

Coffee for breakfast, Red Bull for lunch, beer for supper. PGP.