I ate a bag of Doritos for dinner last night. PGP.

Scoping out apartments you can’t afford on Craigslist in cities you’ll never even visit. PGP.

Last night, I had a dream I bought a Maserati. The entire dream I worried about my credit, car payments, and repair costs. I woke up in a cold sweat. PGP.

Having to choose between 20 minutes more sleep or rubbing one out before work. PGP.

My beer chugging skills now are solely used to chug meal replacement smoothies. PGP.

Having the company card on work travel, but opting to stay in for a good night’s rest. PGP.

I have way too much in common with Peter Gibbons for only being 23. PGP.

Having troubling determining whats been longer, my dry streak or unemployment. PGP.

Talking shit to the foursome behind you at the work conference scramble. PGP.

Screw billables, I want bagels. PGP.