I got my tax refund. I’M RICH, BITCH!

I’m so bored, I just watched a snapchat story about Toronto. PGP

Perusing the TFM site just to feel young again. PGP.

It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care….

Sunny and 75 Monday through Thursday. 90% chance of rain Friday through Sunday. PGP.

When I start thinking that I won’t have an original idea, I just remind myself that Jimmy Buffett wrote a song about goddamn cheeseburgers and is now a multimillionaire.

The old ladies at work tell me I dress like their husbands. PGP

Who needs birth control when you can just listen to your coworkers bitch about their kids all day, everyday.

Finding the acceptable volume for your Pandora to play at your desk without pissing off your co-workers.