Got my very own surge protector today. PGP.

Hawaiian shirt day at the office. Not even Steve can ruin this for me today. PGP.

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life, assuming I die by Monday. PGP.

Drake’s perspective of not having any new friends is a lot different from mine. PGP.

Just bought a sick vacuum. PGP.

Finally typed up my two week notice. Realized I have no idea who it goes to in our company and no one will tell me. I literally cannot quit. PGP.

My dad guilt tripped me into flying home for Holidays. The tickets cost $800. Then he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. How about $800? PGP.

Finding out the real world doesn’t celebrate Columbus Day, the hard way. PGP.

You can tell a lot about a man from his shoes. Like how often he poops at work. PGP.

My little brother just graduated law school in the top five percent of his class. My dog got kicked out of obedience school. PGP.