My girlfriend gave up sex for lent.

Looking for a girlfriend with an in-unit washer and dryer

Receiving EOD requests at 4:58pm

Daylight savings time having no effect on leaving work before it’s dark out.

The awkward moment when your boss asked you to perform a task you lied about being proficient in on your résumé PGP

Looking forward to a television show more than anything else on the weekend. PGP.

I would still rather be a Pokémon Master than whatever it is I’m doing with my life.

Spending more time in traffic than at work

Letting a $4 bottle of red wine “breathe” for 20 minutes before drinking. PGP.

No one at work gets my jokes.