Found roaches running through the coffee cabinet today. PGP.

My fiancee outed me as a serial Bachelor franchise fan and won’t stop giving me shit about it. I’m a dude. PGP.

Toasting to your liver before homecoming weekend. PGP.

My Bumble date just added me on LinkedIn. PGP.

“The 9th floor fridge is being cleaned out at 3:30.” PGP.

A recruiter from the company that rejected me last month just reached out to me to apply for the same exact position. PGP.

Spent $75 on candies and snacks at CVS this past weekend. PGP.

I showed up a half hour early to show the boss that I’m dedicated. He didn’t come in today. PGP.

When you have to ask a coworker if they have any Tums. PGP.

“Don’t forget to dial 9 first.” PGP.