My LinkedIn account says I’m an All-Star, but my bank account says otherwise. PGP.

This guy I work with walks by my desk every day at 4 to get his mail, signifying there’s an hour left in the workday. We have never spoken or exchanged a glance. He is hands down my favorite coworker. PGP.

“Board meeting? More like bored meeting. Am I right?” PGP.

I think I may be the epitome of what’s wrong with this generation. PGP.

I just got guilted into signing a birthday card for a woman who is a huge bitch to me. PGP.

Counting the driving range as exercise. PGP.

Coming out of a meeting with a new title, more responsibility, and the exact same pay. PGP.

I have 192 matches on Tinder, but have gotten laid zero times because I’m always too tired and lazy to follow through with trying to set up a date. PGP.

My friend got engaged last night. I went home and sent weird messages on Tinder. PGP.

“Well, looks like someone had fun last night.” PGP.