The server at Chipotle added me on LinkedIn. PGP.

My boss’s coffee is as black as her soul. PGP.

“Congratulations, your LinkedIn Profile had 1 view last week.” PGP.

Being jealous of your cat every morning you leave for work. PGP.

Spending an hour trying to find the one error in a 40-page Excel workbook that effects every formula. PGP.

Typing “po” into my work computer browser gets me to this website. Typing “po” into my personal laptop browser is a different story. PGP.

There are teachers that make more than me and get all summer off. PGP.

The vegan to my left texts with his keyboard sounds enabled, and the nerd to my right breathes like Tony Soprano. Shoot me. PGP.

Tinder is in the “Games” folder on my iPhone, and that’s exactly where it should be. PGP.