Things Girls Do After Graduation: Gay Best Friend

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Things Girls Do After Graduation: Gay Best Friend

They hadn’t had lunch together since May of the previous year. Somehow, they had fallen completely out of contact outside of occasionally liking one another’s Instagrams and having a Snapchat streak that dated back to February. Tired of concerning herself with the talk surrounding Caroline’s wedding, she reached out to him with a text.

“Lunch at Fit tomorrow?” she asked.

Responding immediately, he shot back, “Ugh, can’t until after 1 because I’m teaching spin classes all morning.”

“Umm, that’s perf,” she excitedly responded. “I just signed up for your 12:15 so now you HAVE to go with me.”

* * *

Still sweating from their class, they waited at the hostess stand. The restaurant, known for their vegan-friendly offerings, was winding down their lunch rush that consisted mainly of a nine-to-five crowd. Once approached by the hostess, she pointed towards a table in the corner by the window – “Any chance we can have that one?” It had yet to be cleared off, but they insisted on being sat there because it was the premier table in the entire restaurant.

Upon sitting down, they each asked for waters with lemon, and she requested a mintade from the waitress.

“Sooooooo,” Tyler began. “Tell me everything.”

She jokingly rolled her eyes and pressed her elbows on the table after putting her already-messy hair into a top-bun. “I, like, don’t even know where to begin.”

These two had originally met over a year ago. After she had attended one of Tyler’s (or “Ty,” as she called him) spin classes, she followed him on Instagram and their pseudo-friendship blossomed gradually before they both became “too busy” with their “own things” to maintain their regular coffee dates. But in light of Caroline’s wedding seemingly taking over her life, she had a realization that Ty would be the perfect confidant as he had never been the biggest Caroline fan to begin with.

“Idk,” Ty said. “Let’s start with Todd. How’s Todd? I just love saying his name. Todd, Todd, Todd.”

“Todd is so good,” she beamed. “You already probably know this from Insta, but we moved in together and our place is, like, the best.”

“Mid-century modern much?” Ty joked. They both laughed before she explained that “MCM was just her style.”

As the waitress put down her mintade, he asked if they were ready to order. They each looked at each other, laughed, and said, “Ugh, no, we’ve barely even looked at the menu yet.”

Ty ran his finger down the menu while explaining that he was over acai bowls, especially considering he’d probably eaten over a hundred at Fit over the last calendar year. “I know this is pricey,” he added, “But I think I might get this grains bowl with a salmon filet on it. Jay got it last week and it looked so good.”

“Ooooh,” she snickered. “And who, may I ask, is Jay?”

He blushed. “Oh, just a boy.”

The waitress came back and interrupted their conversation yet again before taking their order. Ty, a grains bowl with salmon, and her, avocado toast on gluten-free bread. Just upon the waitress leaving, she shot back to Ty.

“Okay, Ty, tell me about Jay!”

“He’s no one!” he responded back. “It’s def not long-term and it’s so complicated that it’s not even worth getting into.”

“Ugh,” she grunted. “Fine. Can I vent to you about something?”

“Dish, girl.”

“Caroline hasn’t said who her Maid of Honor is yet, and it’s fucking. killing. me.”

He dismissed her statement’s importance almost immediately before chiming in, “Typical Caroline, always wanting the attention to be on her.”

“It’s not even that I want to be her Maid of Honor that badly,” she continued. “But, like, I just want to know, you know?”

Ty reached forward and grabbed her hand. “Sister, if she doesn’t choose you, it’ll be a worse decision than the FaceTuning she did on her arm during her engagement party. Trust.”

They both leaned back in their chairs and laughed while she cackled, “Ty! You’re the worst!”

“No, but like, seriously, Ty,” she said. “I bet it’s Katie. It’s always Katie.”

“Either way,” Ty said, “You might want to think about, you know, preparing before the ceremony.” While saying that, Ty took one finger and did a circular motion around his face.

Her jaw dropped, but not in a way that showed she was actually mad. Simply in a way that said, “You’re so bad, Ty.”

“Are you seriously going to try to get me to get botox again?” she asked.

“It’s preventative!” he said. “You have to be proactive before it gets out of control!”

She shushed him as the waitress approached the table again, this time with their dishes. Ty’s eyes became wide looking at his perfectly cooked salmon resting on top of his bowl. It steamed as the waitress set it in front of him, and he looked wide-eyed as she complimented his selection. The waitress began setting her plate down and she looked with a tinge of disgust at the cold, pressed avocado rested on top of the barely toasted bread. And just after the waitress asked if they needed anything else, she looked up at her.

“Is there, like, any possible way I could get what he has instead? It just looks so good.”

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Editor at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram).

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