Online Airport Complainers Are The Worst People On Planet Earth

Online Airport Complainers Are The Worst People On Planet Earth

Travel issues are a tale as old as time. Generations before us have had to endure the hell that is air travel since commercial flights first began taking off from regional airports. Our fathers, and their fathers, have entered airport after airport and had to face the delays, cancellations, and baggage fees that plague our society today more than ever.

Today, in the 2017th year of our world’s existence, these issues seem more apparent than ever. Nevermind the fact that you can’t check your Facebook feed without seeing someone check into an airport while using their valuable PTO. That’s peanuts compared to the condition of the landscape that social media has created for the scum of the earth: online airport complainers.

When a delay or cancellation occurs on any given major airline, this doesn’t simply affect the passengers on said flight. It bleeds over to those happy families looking forward to seeing their loved ones arrive at the destination. Vacation plans are changed, even canceled, and the ripple effect of a changed gate or rerouted plane cannot truly be quantified.

But when that ripple effect begins to affect our everyday lives, that’s when we need to draw the line. It’s when innocent bystanders like you and I find ourselves in the middle of someone else’s mess when we realize that this plague needs to be stopped or, at least, contained. Angry Facebook statuses. Tweets mentioning @AmericanAir or @Delta. Scorched earth complaints that drag us all into the mess that is commercial airline travel.

I understand being mad. I get that you’re upset. I can accept the fact that your feathers are ruffled because you have to sit for another couple hours at an airport Chili’s drinking a $13.00 Sam Adams draft. But in a world that’s riddled with starvation, disease, and people who still think it’s acceptable to use #nofilter as a hashtag, we need to collectively come to the realization that things could be infinitely worse than a delayed flight or an upcharge on a checked piece of luggage that weighs 75 pounds.

Democracy is a thing of beauty. I think it’s acceptable (noble, even) to call your local representatives and give them an earfull about the change that you wish to see in the world. But when you begin to toe the line of complaining to an airline’s social media manager who already hates their life because you had to shell out a little extra cash to change your flight, that’s when you need to take a step back and re-evaluate your life strategy.

Do you actually think these faceless Twitter accounts are going to be able to help every butt-hurt individual hate-tweeting them from Gate B6? Just look at the replies from these major airlines and tell me you don’t feel some semblance of pity for them.

Can you imagine sitting behind a keyboard all day responding to angry air travelers with no identity other than your fucking initials? These faceless, beaten-down customer service representatives can’t do anything for you other than apologize and move on to the next one. They’re not going to get you from point-a to point-b. They’re delegators. They’re damage control. They’re living their own version of hell.

When cancellations occur, these affect not only the customers but the airlines as well. You think these airlines want to deal with the verbal lashings they’re getting from opinionated business class douchebags who drank too much Dewars on their connecting flight? No. But this epidemic goes beyond issues that initially stem from the airlines themselves.

Take Millennial Austin, for example. On the surface, Millennial Austin appears to be your typical entitled millennial. His bio reads, “Social Media Marketer, Simplexity, LLC | Ecommerce | Let’s all eat ” He’s even a “Social Media Marketer,” which signals he might have some sympathy for the people he’s complaining to.

Don’t be Millennial Austin.

It appears as though Austin decided to sleep in rather than show up early like a normal airline patron. While it’s unclear whether or not Austin has TSA pre-check which would’ve made his situation a bit easier, it is clear that Austin is going to give the world hell because he didn’t know how to set his alarm. While, yes, $2,000 is an exorbitant amount of money to pay, he needs to look within himself and realize who’s really at fault. Based on his feed alone, you’d think $2,000 is pocket change for Millennial Austin.

Where did his complaints get him? Well, it appears nowhere.

Maybe you shouldn’t have slept in, Millennial Austin.

Unfortunately, Millennial Austin is only the tip of the iceberg. Sitting for just ten minutes on any given airline’s timeline will show you the hell they have to endure from around the world, whether that hell is justified or not.

If you really want to be the change you wish to see in the world, stop complaining on Twitter, pick up your phone, and call someone who can actually help. And don’t sleep in like Millennial Austin expecting American Airlines to roll out the red carpet for you. That’s a worse look than hashtagging #nofilter.

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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