Everything I’ve Done This Week To Deter Me From Success: Week Of March 2

Everything I’ve Done This Week To Deter Me From Success: Week Of March 2

I’m coming to you today from the comfort of my bed. I’m exhausted, hungry, and pretty hungover. Yesterday was the culmination of a 10-day work bender full of presentations and trainings that I was asked to do on Thursday of last week.

We don’t need to get into the nitty gritty details of the conversation, but essentially, they asked if I had plans for the weekend. I told them I didn’t. They asked me to come in for the training, I said I could, but only if I could take a four day weekend this week. And here we are.

I’m in a fortunate situation because I actually really enjoy my job. I get a lot of autonomy and opportunities to change the way certain processes flow within the company. But after ten days straight, anything can get exhausting. I knew that for the sake of my sanity, I was going to have to keep myself entertained.

Here’s what I did to handle it in the most unprofessional way possible.

I wore a cowboy hat to work.

In a split-second drunken purchase while I was in Phoenix, I obtained a leather cowboy hat. It’s something that I had always pictured myself wearing, but wasn’t sure if/when I would pull the trigger on it. Now that I had, I decided that the best move would be to double down on some kind of an “urban cowboy” look. I’m talking boots, blue jeans, gray Henley, black leather jacket.

Some of the comments and feedback I received:

“You look like Urban Indiana Jones.”

“Howdy, partner.”

“Fuck you.”

“Are you just doing this for attention?”

I got hammered the night before a 4:30 a.m. wake up call.

Yes, this was the same night that I got cock blocked by a Marine. We were at a bougie restaurant with bougie people, so I played the part. I had a few whiskey drinks. We stopped by a liquor store on the way back to the apartment for a few bottles of wine and finished one of the bottles within an hour of getting there.

Aside from low key developing a crush on this dude, I felt myself slurring my speech and leaning on things more and more. I had pre-emptively set an alarm for 4:30 a.m., and if I didn’t leave soon there was a good chance that I would end up taking an Uber from the bar to my office. As tempting as that was, it’s a terrible look.

Waking up the next day was dreadful. I was visibly hungover while pouring a cup of coffee and dry heaved in the bathroom. I’m not sure how common this actually is, but I’m considering it a rite of passage and running with that.

I had to work with the fallout from an Internet request.

Specifically this:

Shoutout to Quinn. I sent her one picture of me with a beard, one without. Is that vain? Probably. But I crave attention, and the experience of having people get at me via DMs has been eye-opening, to say the least. In the time since that tweet/column combination, I’ve getting more and more tweets and DMs from strangers on the internet—which is exhausting because I only have so many witty responses and finger gun gifs (#HumbleBrag).

Now that I have a few standing invites for drinks across the country, there’s a slight chance that I may need to make some adjustments to my budget. Y’know, for the content.

Honestly, there really weren’t that many shenanigans this week. I’ve been too busy and too tired to do anything other than my job, and when that’s all you can focus on, you don’t have any other option to push for success.

But with a four-day weekend and a new project starting on Monday, we’ll see where next week takes us.

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Using sarcasm as a defense mechanism since 1993. At any given moment I'm either tired, drunk, or stressed out. Get at me at or whatever.

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