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Amy And Seth Pearson
Relationship status: Married.
Background: This is some idiot you know from high school who’s been dating the same chick since grade school. Yeah–he’s had sex with one person in his entire life. They got married at 20 and he graduated college a year early. They weird you out so much.
Most Recent Fight: He farted in front of her last Saturday during “Saturday Night Live.” She got mad and he apologized profusely. It wasn’t enough. He slept on the couch for a week.
Times They’ve Had Sex In The Last Week: Maybe twice. Maybe.
Future Divorce Odds: 2 to 1. They’re going to commit their lives to telling people that they really are truly in love and everyone else can suck it. Not only has their relationship refused to mature since 2005, but so have they. Everyone has been actively rooting for this to go down in flames for almost 10 years now.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
My parents aren’t fictional….
You beat me to it. Well done.
Seth Pearson is one ugly dude
But after almost a decade, you know he’s packing heat below his Comfort Waist D3’s.
The amount of sex these fictitious couples have makes me jealous. Even Amy and Seth.