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Rachel And Michael Thornton
Relationship status: Married for two years.
Background: These were the first people you knew who got married. They literally dated for six months in college and he popped the question at the bar the night of their graduation. It was a happy occasion and the wedding was an absolute shitshow. Mike was throwing up on the party bus from the ceremony to the reception. My, how things have changed. They fucking hate each other now.
Most Recent Fight: I don’t know. Probably five minutes ago about something stupid.
Times They’ve Had Sex In The Last Week: More than 20. You’re almost positive that “renovation” they recently did on their house was for a secret sex dungeon.
Future Divorce Odds: 8 to 5. It’s really only a matter of time. Let’s just hope they don’t have kids, but at the rate they’re having angry sex with each other, that’s unlikely.
Respond
Brian McGannon
What do I love? I love happy hour, a good golf tan, and getting moderately drunk during dinner.
@BrianMcGannon
@brianmcgannon
brianmcgannon
My parents aren’t fictional….
You beat me to it. Well done.
Seth Pearson is one ugly dude
But after almost a decade, you know he’s packing heat below his Comfort Waist D3’s.
The amount of sex these fictitious couples have makes me jealous. Even Amy and Seth.