Having no work pulled up on either monitor. PGP.

I didn’t fart! That was just me adjusting in the leather chair! PGP.

Yelling, “Pizza’s here!” to an empty apartment so the delivery guy doesn’t think the family dinner special is just for you. PGP.

Binge thinking. PGP.

Counting down to daylight savings as if it were a major holiday. PGP.

Working out to counteract potential weight gain rather than to get “cut.” PGP.

Being utterly disgusted by people who clip their fingernails in their cubes. PGP.

“I think you overdid it this weekend.” PGP.

Getting satisfaction from sending an email to the junk folder. PGP.

She’s office hot. PGP.

Actually getting mad when someone steals your stapler. PGP.

Having a boss that makes Lumbergh look tolerable. PGP.