This shirt was supposed to be wrinkle free. It is wrinkled. Very wrinkled. PGP.

We’re looking for a real self starter with excellent attention to detail. PGP.

Eating more five dollar footlongs than Jared. PGP.

Creepily learning a hot chick’s name from her Starbucks cup. PGP.

When the fully-stocked company fridge reminds you how incredibly empty your fridge is at home. PGP.

When you start typing “www.pornhu” out of habit on your work computer. PGP.

Missing a belt loop and not knowing until your boss points it out at the end of the day. PGP.

Searching for the sweet spot between too much and too little caffeine. PGP.

The muscle car that got me laid in college now makes me look unprofessional. PGP.

People acting like your legitimate sales job is part of a pyramid scheme. PGP.

The moment you realize you’re no longer “the new guy.” PGP.

Hoarding leftovers from the catered meeting. I have dinner for a week now. PGP.