If I eat a really big breakfast, maybe I can save money by skipping lunch. PGP.

Thinking “That’s my pen, isn’t it?” but not having the balls to say anything. PGP.

My rolled up sleeves say I’m working hard. My blank computer screen says my sleeves are full of shit. PGP.

When literally the only thing your boss does is forward emails. PGP.

Praying that hilarious nickname your superior just gave you doesn’t stick. PGP.

Older coworkers that think ringtones are still cool. PGP.

That feeling when you know you’re the first one to sit on a clean toilet in the morning. PGP.

“Come by my desk to sign the card.” PGP.

Being known for having the quickest “Ctrl + Tab” draw in the office. PGP.

Heart healthy vending machine options. PGP.

Having a keyboard full of crumbs. PGP.

Being so overwhelmed with work that you don’t know where to start, so you just don’t do anything at all. PGP.