The increasing frequency of pep talks I have to give myself in the morning just to get out of bed. PGP.

Much like my dog just knows he is going to the vet, my liver and bank account know I’m going back to homecoming soon. They are not happy. PGP.

Just got a call from State Farm letting me know my car insurance is going down $20 in January. Did a fistpump at my desk. PGP.

I can’t remember the last time I spent a Friday night somewhere other than my couch. PGP.

World needs plenty of bartenders. PGP.

There’s always trade school. PGP.

Legitimately asking cashiers “How’s your day going?” not out of politeness, but because I’m so eager to interact with anybody outside of my office. PGP.

Tried to haze the pledges at homecoming. Corporate life has made me soft. PGP.

Debating a vasectomy after watching my boss’s kid for a half hour. PGP.

Making less money than your parents pay in taxes. PGP.

It’s Tuesday. I’m still hungover from Saturday. PGP.

I used to rely on adults to tell me the weather. Now I look at the 5 day forecast. PGP.

I was the first person in the office to get sick since the Ebola scare. Everyone thinks I have Ebola. PGP.

Took just one day off after my wedding, not because I like work, but that’s all I can afford. PGP.

Just got really jealous of a baby in a grocery cart. PGP.

My parents just met my boss. Can’t decide if this was the best or worst idea I’ve had. PGP.

My bank alerting me that my card may have been stolen after spending $200 at Target. PGP.

Using Sunday as an excuse to overeat because you are, “starting your diet fresh on Monday.” PGP.

Giving the boss a little chin music at the company softball game. PGPM.

The high school kids near my office drive nicer cars than me. PGP.