The only bagels left are Cinnamon Raisin. PGP.

Aw, you know, just sitting here listening to my boss have a casual phone conversation about getting a vasectomy. No big deal. PGP.

My company’s teleconference lines have new waiting music! PGP.

Finally getting the bathroom all to yourself, only to have someone come in mid-poop. PGP.

Replying to a three page email with a single word response. PGP.

Calling 1-800 talk dirty numbers from your coworker’s phone when he steps out for lunch. PGP.

Treating yourself to happy hour because you ran 2 miles. PGP.

Transferring your Lean Cuisine to a plate in hopes that your coworkers will think you’re eating leftovers. PGP.

When you re-watch your favorite childhood show and identify more with the burnt-out parents. PGP.

When you know you’ll be working all weekend because the rest of your team is on vacation and that major project is due Monday. PGP.

Always wearing your telephone headset to deter people from talking to you because they think you’re on the phone. PGP.

Office Space is no longer funny. It’s too real. PGP.