Any time someone emails me with a question, it takes every ounce of my will power not to answer, “I have no fucking idea, dude.” PGP.

The countdown to happy hour started at the end of last night’s happy hour. PGP.

Being subjected to sitting in the one chair that squeaks in the conference room during a meeting. PGP.

Getting a call for an interview, but having no clue what it’s for because you’ve applied to so many jobs. PGP.

The looks you get when you have the sniffles during a meeting. PGP.

The awkward stare-down when walking down the hallway toward your boss. PGP.

Just learned I have to carry a separate business iPhone, making me look like the biggest douche of all-time. PGP.

One of the women in my office wants me to do a squat challenge with her. PGP.

Got my first “What exactly do you do here?” this morning. PGP.

My boss just did a very loud Hitler impression in the middle of the office. PGP.

I’m pretty sure I just accidentally right swiped my boss on Tinder. PGP.

I keep staring at an invisible camera like I’m Jim Halpert, and the whole office thinks I have schizophrenia. PGP.