Not telling the boss that I finished a project until he asks about it, so he won’t give me another. PGP

Awkwardly removing valuables from your car while they guy waits to starts detailing it. PGP.

My mom keeps buying me self help books

Sent to HR because I can’t responsibly accept my team being eliminated in the bracket. PGP.

Scheduling a “doctor’s appointment” during your Alma Mater’s midday NCAA tournament game.

Doing tricep dips on the arm rests of your chair. PGP

Drank tequila on Saturday night. I’ll be feeling that ’til Tuesday

Spending Sunday looking for the fire alarm that is making noise. PGP

Wondering if today is going to be the day you yell “shut the hell up” at the office.

I like to print random documents to a printer on the other side of the office, and walk a lap through the office with it in my hand. An hour later, I’ll walk another lap back, and shred it. It looks like work and makes my cardiologist happy. PGP

Being terrified when asked “What is your desired salary?” PGP

Having a reoccurring dream of being back in college.