Swishing black coffee in your mouth like it’s some sort of caffeinated mouthwash. PGP.

Getting a whiff of the dark roast you had earlier when at the urinal. PGP.

The most productive thing I’ve done today involved walking into a bathroom stall. PGP.

Motivation getting the start, apathy getting the W. PGP.

All work and no play driving Jack Torrance to try and kill his family. PGP.

Forrest Gump graduating in five years, not giving any thought to his future and joining the Army. PGP.

My school won the national championship last night. I’m sitting in my cubicle hungover watching campus celebration videos. PGP.

If someone uses the Keurig and neglects to refill the water one more time, I am going to lose my FUCKING MIND. PGP.

The office Keurig broke which means I’m getting literally nothing done today. PGP.

“She has a kid now? I remember when we partied with her in college.” PGP.

Keeping up with Gchats is my full-time job. PGP.

When your chair gets upgraded, it feels like a promotion. PGP.