Power napping at red lights. PGP.

If I found out an asteroid was going to hit earth today, I wouldn’t be all that upset. PGP.

90% of my day is spent avoiding emails and pretending I’m too busy to answer the phone. PGP.

I have cumulatively been on hold for over 2 hours today. It will take at least a week to get the elevator music out of my head. PGP.

Headset hair. PGP.

I see how many times I can say “meow” on my daily conference call without anyone noticing. My record is 3. PGP.

My to-do list is finished by 2:00pm every single day. After that it’s all smoke and mirrors. PGP.

Always blaming the new guy. PGP.

My boss controls the music in the office. Her favorite band is Good Charlotte. PGP.

Last week I got engaged to the love of my life. We met on Tinder. PGP.

One hand on the mouse, two feet in the grave. PGP.

I keep so much medicine at my desk for different ailments that coworkers call me “The Pharmacist.” PGP.