Giving blood at the company blood drive, not to save lives but to get out of work and lay down for an hour. PGP.

My headset now makes me feel like a dog on a leash. PGP.

Forgetting your headphones at home the day your office-mate decides to have a 30 minute phone call in Mandarin. PGP.

The vegan to my left texts with his keyboard sounds enabled, and the nerd to my right breathes like Tony Soprano. Shoot me. PGP.

“Welcome to the team!” being the words that start the rest of your miserable life. PGP.

I’m not too proud of the noise that just came out of my mouth because of the mouse that scurried by my desk. PGP.

Fresh skid marks in my favorite bathroom stall. Day ruined. PGP.

People my age are buying houses, and I’m still trying to budget out groceries. PGP.

Passive aggressively CC’ing someone’s manager on an email. PGP.

Celebrating your 5-year anniversary at a company you originally considered a short-term stepping stone. PGP.

Spent an hour talking to our department SVP at happy hour last night. He introduced himself to me again this morning. PGP.

Spending 10 hours a day in a fluorescent-lit gulag. PGP.