I’ve done about 30 minutes of actual work this week, and I’m upset that I’ve even done that much. PGP.

The only thing I have in common with most of my coworkers is that the same person writes our checks. PGP.

The janitor and I both stare out the window wistfully. I assume we’re both thinking that the third floor just isn’t quite high enough. PGP.

Drafting the offer letter for your replacement. PGP.

RE: The person that starts their email message in the subject line…And finishes their statement in the actual email. PGP.

Debating between letting your social life flourish or living like a hermit and contributing all extra dollars to a retirement account. PGP.

“Want to go in on a wedding gift together?” PGP.

Stopping for Tums and condoms before a third date. PGP.

Using the end pieces of a loaf of bread for a sandwich to avoid a trip to the grocery store. PGP.

Spending an hour trying to find the one error in a 40-page Excel workbook that effects every formula. PGP.

Wishing you could BCC a text message. PGP.

Pulled my calf doing the wobble at a wedding. PGP.