1: “How was your long weekend.” 2: “Not long enough.” 1: “They never are.” PGP.

Frantically trying to remember whose card you’re signing, even though it won’t change the generic message of “Good luck.” PGP.

Watching so much Netflix on a three day weekend that you actually start to miss work. PGP.

Frantically turning the volume down when what you thought was just an ESPN article turns out to be a video. PGP.

I’ll take four Fireba–one vodka soda, splash of cran please. PGP.

A feeling of absolute rage and hollow sense of defeat upon being told about the mandatory 4:30 Friday meeting. PGP.

It’s a “fuck it, let the intern deal with it” kinda Friday. PGP.

Really excited about the leftovers I brought for lunch today, you guys. PGP.

Praying your check goes in at midnight to cover your “Thirsty Thursday” bar tab. PGP.

1: “Why do they even have the sort from High to Low option?” 2: “To make you feel poor.” PGP.

Searching your conference call host on LinkedIn only to discover they’re not as hot as they sounded. PGP.

The only PEDs I’ve been accused of taking are coffee and Metamucil. PGP.