Facebook making you feel better about your life and LinkedIn making you feel worse. PGP.

Having no personal items on your desk so you can get up and leave immediately if fired. PGP.

Fuck. PGP.

Now I know why people drink wine every night. PGP.

Can’t update my iPhone software because my iTunes is too old. Can’t update my iTunes because my MacBook is too old. PGP.

Fearing for your life every time you drive as your car you’ve had from high school slowly dies on you. PGP.

I’ve been working here for 10 months and it’s only today that I realized the company name in my email signature is misspelled. PGP.

Being sore from putting together IKEA furniture. PGP.

1: “Can I say I worked through lunch so I can expense my lunch? Because I haven’t actually walked away from my desk.” 2: “No.” PGP.

The thought that one day I may be responsible for raising children is an absolute fucking joke. PGP.

Out-girthing an entire wardrobe. PGP.

Completely inflating your job responsibilities to anyone who has no chance of finding out you’re a fake. PGP.