Caring more about crafting a stellar internet comment than an effective work email. PGP.

Checking your bank account before buying an app. PGP.

Not having the faintest idea how dry cleaning actually works. PGP.

The only text I received today was from Papa John’s. PGP.

Almost got hit by a car walking to work today. Wish I had. PGP.

Actually telling the truth when your doctor asks how many drinks you average per week. PGP.

No one says, “Good morning!” anymore. Just, “Morning.” PGP.

Happy hour planning at 9am. PGP.

Two years ago I was an eager college senior who couldn’t wait to graduate and take the world by storm. Today, I wish I could travel through time and punch that eager moron in the face. PGP.

“Let’s workshop that issue.” PGP.

Watching The Three Stooges and wondering why you can’t work with people who are even half as intelligent. PGP.

Your car was brand new when you were in the third grade. PGP.