I keep re-watching “Office Space” in hopes of getting hypnotized. PGP.

Based off of everyone’s Tinder pictures, I haven’t done shit with my life. PGP.

Saving your college ID for its discounts until you land a big boy job. PGP.

Just heard my favorite song in an elevator. PGP.

Every day feels like my own personal Fail Friday. PGP.

I’ve got a little change in my pocket…and honestly that’s all I have. PGP.

Mainlining One-a-Day Men’s. PGP.

My Friday nights are becoming eerily similar to my Sunday through Thursday nights. PGP.

My entire Sunday consisted of a hangover, seven episodes of Game of Thrones, a 12-pack, and going to a Chinese buffet alone. PGP.

My heart couldn’t take that match against Portugal. No really, I almost had to go to the ER. PGP.

My biggest accomplishment this year is figuring out my company’s wifi password. PGP.

Ran out of content on all the webpages I go to, and it’s not even 2:00. PGP.