Day dreaming about sex in my morning meeting. PGP.

Utilizing WebMD for medical jargon to make your fake illness sound much more believable. PGP.

Drinking games now means seeing if I can finish a drink without feeling sleepy. PGP.

Finally got a view on my online dating profile. It was my mom and she emailed me a list of things to edit. PGP.

Not pouring ice water on your head for charity, but because you can’t afford air conditioning. PGP.

College drama doesn’t have shit on office politics. PGP.

Realizing that by “stay in school” they meant “don’t ever leave.” PGP.

Legally, I’m a full-time freelancer. I’ve never experienced this ‘lunch’ you speak of. PGP.

I just applied to be a daycare teacher. My degree is in PR. PGP.

Nobody has nominated me for the Ice Bucket Challenge yet. PGP.

I’ve taken a total of two legitimate sick days in my first six months at my job. My manager told me at if I keep up the pace, I won’t make it a year. PGP.

Car naps at lunch becoming more appealing than the thought of eating. PGP.