I have a case of the Tuesdays? PGP.

Lying that you’re younger to girls at the bar, and lying that you’re older at client meetings. PGP.

The only reason I want to keep this job is because it gives me ideas for PGP posts. PGP.

I want my friends to know that my PGP account is me, but I don’t want my employers to know. PGP.

I’m the only person on Earth who still hasn’t seen “The Fappening.” PGP.

Can officially cross being catfished off the list. PGP.

Nobody ever responds to my Snapchats. PGP.

Getting in trouble for not taking a lunch break. PGP.

Counting down to a three paycheck month, so you can put it all towards your student loans. PGP.

I’ve spent more on car maintenance than on food this year. PGP.

My most interested online dating prospect has no license and needs a place to live since he currently resides with his ex. PGP.

“This online training will take approximately one hour to complete.” Bet I can make it two. PGP.