I am out of food this weekend. Instead of going grocery shopping, I just bought two Hot-N-Readies. PGP.
My fantasy football trash-talk email chain now has pictures of my friend’s kids being sent through it. PGP.
Getting drunk at Red Lobster. PGP.
Getting the high score on the blood pressure monitor at your local CVS. PGP.
Trying to keep your birthday a secret from coworkers to avoid awkward hugs, gifts, parties, etc. PGP.
When is nap time? PGP.
Offering to drive your coworkers to lunch, and then remembering that your backseat is covered with fast food wrappers. PGP.
Having a false sense of job security because you’re in the office fantasy football league. PGP.
Getting caught off guard by auto-draft bill pay. PGP.
Walking around the office holding a meaningless document to make it look like you’re busy. PGP.
Fighting the urge to slap people who needlessly take the middle urinal at work. PGP.
Being so hungover that you’re afraid to try to walk. PGP.