Going on a business trip today. My parents told me to “watch my drinking.” I’m 25. PGP.

So bored at work that I painted my nails with the white-out. PGP.

ALL CAPS IS INDUSTRY STANDARD. i FORGET TO TURN IT OFF OCCASIONALLY AND EVERYONE THINKS I’M YELLING ON FACEBOOK. PGP.

There was a fight today in the office. I was at lunch. PGP.

Checked in for my flight exactly 24 hours before it boarded. Boarding position B 54. PGP.

Immediately making lunch plans via Gchat upon sitting at your desk on Monday. PGP.

Hearing “look who finally decided to show up today” from three different people after being only five minutes late. PGP.

Genuinely excited to spend the night in my pajamas watching Netflix. PGP.

When the quality of your weekend hinges on the Coinstar at Safeway being fixed, you start to rethink some of your life choices. PGP.

My company is doing Movember. I don’t think I can grow a mustache. PGP.

Demanding that your colleagues pre-game a work-related charity event with you. PGP.

Got yelled at for not going to a voluntary meeting. PGP.