Tim Duncan’s LinkedIn Profile Is Much Better Than Yours

Tim Duncan's LinkedIn Profile Is Much Better Than Yours

Basketball is nothing if not a very loud and proud sport, and no season had as much noise surrounding it than the most recent one, between Draymond Green’s groin-kicking, Blake Griffin punching someone in the face, Draymond Green punching someone in the face, J.R. Smith being told by the President of the United States to put on a shirt, the Warriors taking Kevin Durant and turning him into the most reviled player since LeBron circa Miami 2010, Draymond Green’s penis and…well, a lot more stupid shit from Draymond Green, you might think you’re watching the WWE and not basketball.

And the greatest spectacle of all this season, other than LeBron turning a history-making Golden State Warriors team into his bitch, was the retirement tour of one Kobe Bryant. But while we all watched in awe as the Mamba said farewell, you might have missed another five-time NBA champion’s retirement. Another multiple MVP-winning GOAT bidding a fond farewell after a career that spanned decades. I’m talking, of course, about Tim Duncan, who went out not with a ‘farewell tour,’ but with a press release .

Now Tim Duncan, a 40-year-old retiree who made nearly $240 million in his 19-year career with the San Antonio Spurs (including payments over the next 3 years of $1.8 million thanks to the NBA’s stretch provision), has a lot of free time on his hands.

When he’s not waiting in line at an Old Navy, he’s working on his LinkedIn profile. And it’s pretty spectacular.

According to Steve Kyler, a reputable NBA news source from Basketball Insiders, this is legit.

His LinkedIn profile, which counts his 19 years and two months he worked for the San Antonio Spurs, includes the following skills:

–Onboarding recently traded-for coworkers, helping to familiarize them with our sets, system and culture

–Screening and rolling from all relevant directions (I’ll admit this one had me laughing my ass off)

–Mentoring younger co-workers and helping them reach their goals

–Engaging the Locker Room in socratic dialogue

Is this what they meant by “Socratic Dialogue?”

There’s not a chance in hell that Tim Duncan will last long on the open market as a workforce ‘free agent.’ Any company would be lucky to add the greatest power forward of all time to their team.

That is, unless you’re Shaq and you don’t consider Tim Duncan a ‘big man.’ At least he didn’t make Kazaam, Shaq.

[via Uproxx]

Image via YouTube

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