I always pull out….of the driveway by 7:15. PGP

Still can’t grow a beard. PGP

Desk crunches. PGP.

Accidentally left my iPhone on “Do Not Disturb” all day. No one noticed including me. PGP

Deliberately drinking responsibly to remember the game this time. PGP.

I probably couldn’t outrun Rich Eisen. PGP.

Trojan taste. Durex budget. PGP.

Target taste, Walmart budget. PGP

Group texts with my friends used to be funny. Now the group texts include their wives. PGP.

Saw the sun this morning. That’s how I knew I was late for work. PGP

I did absolutely nothing this weekend. PGP.

Doing just enough to keep the power gut from getting any worse. PGP.