The next time my coworkers see me I will be sunburnt and hungover. PGP.

I’m not even pretending to work today. PGP.

This post is the most productive thing I’ve done all day. PGP

Mustered up the courage to ask for a half day today. No one else even showed up.

Is it too early to aspire make the PGA Senior Tour? PGP.

“Another day, another dollar” PGP

My manager texted me the angry emoji when I was 15 minutes late this morning.

1: “How’s it goin?” 2: “Just another day in paradise.”

I’m still hungover from Preakness.

My current age is often referred to as a professional athlete’s prime. I break a sweat walking to my car after work. PGP

The intern just got caught looking at ESPN, and now all sports websites are blocked. PGP

Just reorganized my cubicle. Still looks like shit but at least I killed an hour. PGP.