I don’t go to happy hour with my coworkers for fear of getting drunk and telling them how much I hate them

My life goal is to be so successful that it hurts my ex girlfriends feelings. PGP

“When I was your age, I was just like you.” PGP.

Finally got laid by using eharmonys free trial weekend. PGP.

I regret how much fun I had this weekend.

Almost forgot I had to work today. PGP.

“We are continuing to monitor the adverse conditions in the Houston area. However, operations are expected to continue as normal.” PGP.

First three day weekend since Christmas and it rained all three days. PGP.

I’m hungover and sunburnt. PGP.

Back to the grind.

Get me the fuck out of here. PGP.

Making in 17 years what Andrew McCutchen took home in one paycheck. PGP.