Woke up to find out I can sleep for 30 more minutes. Most exciting thing that will happen all week. PGP

The intern just offered me career advice

A girl I referred to as “Slumpbuster” in college is now really hot and lives in Hawaii. I am now fat and live with my parents. PGP.

I love the sound of keyboards in the morning.

Everyone assuming you’re hungover when you call in sick.

Boss, who is categorically wrong in dispute with office leasing agent, demands I “step up to the plate for the company” and back his losing argument. PGP

I don’t even like talking about work when I’m at work.PGP.

Jordan Spieth has made more by 21 than I will in my whole life.

My boss rejected my expense report for a business trip saying that my spending was “excessive.” PGP

Got a job interview, turned out it was a pyramid scheme. PGP

My boss just asked me about the job recruiter I added on LinkedIn. PGP.

Parents just moved into their dream home where I no longer have a room.